Subliminal Kool-Aid

New Digs

2004-10-28T01:47:00.000-07:00

Hats of to Lisa for the new digs. I heard you were good, but damnnnn. I have a full fledged Kool Aid smile at how well this turned out.

You rock.

Click HERE to go to the new place.

Humor in Uniform....from the "There I was" files.

2004-10-27T18:08:00.000-07:00

It has been suggested that I share some of the many "There I was..." stories from my military career. So...now for the first installment.

As aircrew we had to be at the jet 2 and a half hours before scheduled takeoff time in order to do the long and tedious pre-flight duties. My position on the aircraft was just inside the front door, so I had a clear view outside the aircraft. I had finished my preflight duties and was standing just inside the door waiting for the rest of the crew to arrive. Standing just outside the door on the top of the stairs were the Wing Commander and our Squadron Commander who were involved in some "in depth" conversation. About this time one of my enlisted crew mates who had gone to the flight kitchen to pick up the meals for the flight was on his way up the stairs, his arms filled with boxed lunches, and unable to get past the two commanders standing in front of the door. I was about to ask the two officers if they could step aside for the crew's lunches when my friend takes matters into his own hands. The Wing Commander looked at him waiting on the top step when my friend calmly states... "You wanna get out of the way asshole?"....I about died. The Wing Commander looks at my friend...looks over to the Squadron Commander...and back at my friend. He says to my bold if not suicidal friend, "Are you talking to ME?" To which my crew mate calmly replies, "No sir...I was talking to the OTHER asshole". I crapped myself. Then the most amazing thing happened. The two commanders stared at each other for a few seconds, I guess trying to figure out which of them had just been insulted, and then both stepped to opposite sides of the stand to let my buddy pass. I couldn't believe it! Probably the only man to successfully call both his Squadron and Wing Commander an asshole directly to their faces and walk away unscathed. It was beautiful.

A break from politics---Not.

2004-10-26T09:45:00.000-07:00

Every day I get coffee and watch the news before going to work. Everyday the political bashing and trashing picks up a little more momentum as the election gets closer. Today I opt to not even turn on the TV. We have 3 cockateils that live in a large flight cage next to the entertainment center. This morning I decide to drink my coffee and just do some bird watching.

These birds, although the same breed, are very different in personality,color and attitude. All co-residing in a space plenty large enough for all of them comfortably. There is however one particular spot within this massive cage that is apparently prime real estate. It is the highest perch and thus is the position for top bird. You see where this is going don't you? I sat there, coffee in hand, in utter amazement at the events in that cage. They screamed at each other, each trying to be louder and therefore more dominant than the other. They picked at each other with their beaks. They even attempted knocking each other off of the perch. All of this to win what is literally the highest seat in the house. The only thing missing was the dramatic music intro's and the cool graphics before each segment. Other than that I was watching the election coverage all over again!

Several morals can be derived from this. You pick which you think is best.

1. Politicians are bird brains.
2. Politics is flighty.
3. No matter who wins we still end up cleaning the shit at the bottom of the cage.

I'm going with No. 3 personally.

Concealed Carry

2004-10-25T07:31:00.000-07:00

Last night at work a co-worker and I were just sort of BS'ing about hunting and shooting in general. The subject of carrying a concealed pistol (with a license of course) also came into the conversation. Another co-worker (who apparently was listening) remarks " I don't see why anybody feels so insecure that they have to carry a pistol with them just in case something bad might happen." I responded that I also carry a spare tire concealed in the trunk of my car. Not because I'm overly paranoid about nails or sharp objects, but because it's something I might need in an emergency and without it I'm screwed. The facial expression on this co-worker was beautiful. It was a mixture of understanding, acceptance and embarrassment all at the same time.

Mil Blog

2004-10-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

I was reading a lot of mil-blogger articles last night and one in particular touched me more than the others. Unfortunately I can't remember which post this was. There were just so many of them and I was bouncing around all over the place. DW says I have Blogheimers. One of these post was from a Viet Nam vet speaking of how fellow vets of that war should be included in the homecomings and fanfare for our servicemen now. I have to agree, and I have to tell you a story.

I am retired military myself. I was an aircrew member on E-3's, more commonly known as AWACS. The particular story I want to tell is about my flight home from Desert Storm. We had flown several hours from Saudi Arabia into England. A short refueling layover there and a long flight from England back to the States. We landed at Westover Mass. at about 3'oclock in the morning. A bus came to the jet to pick us up and on the bus was the base Chaplain. He wanted to say a prayer regarding our return. A little strange I thought, but still a nice touch. The bus pulls up outside a large hanger and stops. The doors open and the Base Commander steps in. He also wants to welcome us home. Remember now...it's 3 AM. He informs us that we'll have about a 3 hr. layover while they refuel and service our aircraft and that they'll put us up inside this big assed hanger we were parked outside of. At this point the hanger doors open...I'll never forget this as long as I live....inside is probably half the population of Westover Mass. The hanger was jammed with people. Yellow ribbons. Everyone hugging everyone else. Food, beer, hell they had set up a complete McDonald's in there. After a while it settled down a bit and people sort of broke into groups. I sat down next to a couple of guys wearing Viet Nam Vet hats. The conversation that developed with them was moving, enlightening, emotional and educational. They explained to me how after Viet Nam there was no closure. No homecoming. No parade. No yellow ribbons. Nothing. The American people had, in their minds, sent them off to war and left them hanging. Soldiers were not thought of as hero's and America's finest. They dealt with this for years. Desert Storm changed everything. The American people changed. Yellow ribbons in every town across the country. Parades. Hell, Desert Storm had it's own anthem..."God Bless The USA" by Lee Geenwood. These Viet Nam Vets told me they had been waiting for this moment since the day they had returned from Viet Nam. They actually apologized for what they referred to as "riding on our coat tails". They told me that they finally felt that they could wear their Viet Nam Vet hats and actually be respected by the public because of Desert Storm. I teared up. About to do it again just thinking about it. What do you say to that?

As we were leaving to get on the bus these guys all hugged me. They were smiling huge, wide smiles...I guess you could call them "Kool Aid" smiles... and they left me feeling honored to have met and talked with them.

2004-10-22T19:22:00.000-07:00

So I get this in my Monster e-mail today.

Farm Manager - Layer/Eggs
Management Recruiters Intnt

I'm just not really sure how to take this. Soooooo.....first reaction....they want someone to do WHAT?!!! Then I realized I had just done it. Maybe I AM qualified! Second reaction...you mean my resume sucked SO bad that monster matched me with THIS? Admit it...you clicked on it didn't you? Like me you just had to see if this was legit. Maybe it's just me, but I think if I were in their HR department I might reconsider the verbage of this particular hiring campaign.

Lost...blog entry.

2004-10-22T06:24:00.000-07:00

Answers to the name of Big brother Taurus. If found contact Subliminal Kool-aide. It's just too early in the morning for me to be banging my head on the key board. Granted I'm a brand new blogger...and this is a new sight (the paint's still wet) ...so I'm obviously clueless, but do the blog guru's that do the hosting have to make it so freakin' confusing for us the little people? Is it a right of passage? I try to trackback to a really cool picture I saw at www.bootsandsabers.com and when I return to my page my last post has vaporized. Gone. There were no survivors. OK not true...the picture is still there. That's it. How the %$#*& did THAT happen? I didn't touch that entry...I just was trying to trackback to these other guys. So my apologies to Boots And Sabers if by some Bermuda Triangle kind of anomaly the now missing post from my page mysteriously gets slapped up on their page. Not what I had in mind. I'm off to find the "Lost And Found" of the bloggosphere.

2004-10-21T09:32:00.000-07:00

Big brother Taurus

Better Luck next time

2004-10-20T19:42:00.000-07:00

Well the quick hunting trip has come to a close. Unfortunately I came home with the same gross vehichle weight that I started with. Not that I didn't SEE any deer, just didn't see any bucks. I saw more doe than a Pizza Hut. (OK...so it works better saying it than writing it.)

I had a nice visit with my gracious hosts, and got lots of puppy/kitty/baby/toddler/kid lovin's in the process. That alone was worth the drive. I previously stated that I was not sure how I was going to deal with sheets and bed concept being offered to me, but this morning I'm asked if I had been shown how to adjust the comfort level of the bed. At that point the neurons in my brain ceased functioning for a few moments and all I could muster for a few seconds was a chuckle. I do hope that this was not taken in a bad light by my host and friends, I was just tickled by the addition of this little tidbit on top of the whole bed and sheets concept in the first place. I guess I should clarify a little. To me hunting entails throwing a tent roughly the size of a dog house up in some remote point in the woods and serenading myself to sleep with my own groans from the inescapable rock in the back no matter how carefully I searched for them. I awaken at 0-dark thirty and scramble to get dressed faster than a couple of teenagers when one of their parents gets home earlier than expected. The need to dress this fast is twofold. One - it's freakin' cold in the woods at 0-dark thirty and once out of that sleeping bag the need for warmth becomes a rather high priority. Secondly, and more important, is quite simply the need to take a serious leak. This simple act of nature takes on a whole new dimension when placed in context of a tent not much bigger than a colander. Thus my chuckling at the "craftmatic adjustable bed" added to the the creature comforts already being offered.

Lots of fun, and many thanks to my friends for a very nice couple of days.

Gone Hunting

2004-10-18T23:58:00.000-07:00

Well another day of joyful bliss in the retail world has come to an end. Tomorrow I am headed to the woods for a few days of deer hunting. Somehow visualizing the poor unsuspecting Whitetail in the form of a typical disgruntled consumer who wishes to ensure that I truely DO understand their grief equates to disaster for the first legal sized buck that happens to cross my path. He just doesn't stand a chance. Imagine the butcher tasked with processing this deer..."so...why did you have to shoot it 9 times?"

I have been graciously invited to hunt on the private land of co-blogger. (wait...do I refer to myself in this manner the first day attempting this blog stuff?) My DW and my gracious host have been making the arrangements for my get-away (I've had that work thing going on) and I'm still in a little shock at what I'm hearing. "We've put clean sheets on the bed..." Sheets?....bed?...words I am not accustomed to being used in the same sentence with hunting. I'm thinking I'll stop at the grocery store and pick up some liquid smoke to sprinkle on my hunting clothes just so my system doesn't have some sort of strange reaction to such comforts. At the very least I'll dab liquid smoke on my face like Aqua Velva before returning to work and lie my ass off about how cold it was, and how I had to start a fire by striking a piece of flint across my rifle barrel. They'll believe it...right?

2004-10-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

New Toy

Being that hunting season has opened and the smell of gunpowder and Hoppes No. 9 fill the air, it's time for "show and tell" for the newest toy. OK...so this one has absolutely nothing to do with hunting but it's still a new gun right?

As for the good thing/bad thing rating...

good thing; small size but actually does fill your hand with pistol rather than trying to get one of G.I. Joes action figure firearms to actually fire. (like some of the small pocket pistols feel)

good thing; my car keys seem to weigh about the same...doesn't feel like having a cynder block in your pocket

bad thing; .22 LR....not a lot of whallop.

good thing; 9 shots...makes up for the previous.

The first little sip.

2004-10-18T09:04:00.000-07:00

Having just gotten up this morning I sit at the computer to check E-mail and find waiting for me a note explaining how to use my new Blog page. There it is....directly in front of me...an electronic styrofoam cup of sweet smelling brightly colored liquid that I've been told to drink. Whether it's the pungent odor of overly sweetened Kool-aid or the charismatic charms of the two women's siren song (you know who you are) but I strangely find myself cup in hand, taking that first and seemingly innocent sip. I'm already beginning to feel somewhat disconnected and my vision is somewhat blurred...OK nevermind...haven't had coffee yet.